Things I've Learned from Loading the Dishwasher

As the title suggests. This needs no further explanation. It's up to you to decide which of these are taken from actual instances.

-I do not have six fingers.

-You probably shouldn't shove the pointy end of a fork into your cuticle.

-Many things obey the laws of gravity. Ceramic mugs happen to be some of these things.

-I probably shouldn't be allowed to load or unload the ceramic mugs we have with pictures of paintings on them. Two or three have fallen casualty to my lack of dexterity already. (Yeah, I get a horrible initiative bonus, too.)

-If you drop something breakable and then walk on the shards, it might hurt your feet.

-Before you apply bandages to wounds caused by pointy glass pieces, remove the pointy glass pieces.

-Same goes for toothpicks.

-Sometimes if you start writing about dishwashers, you end up writing about toothpicks.

-Things that come out of the recently-clean dishwasher are HOT. Don't grab them without knowing this, especially if they're really heavy and you have no apparent place to put them.

-If you wash your hands with soap before loading or unloading the dishwasher, you should rinse and dry them before handling dishes (especially ceramic mugs).

-If you try hard enough, you can learn way too many things from loading the dishwasher.

-If you're holding something heavy and awkwardly shaped you've just taken from the dishwasher, check the floor for cats before you carry it over to the cupboard so you don't have to do that interesting cat-avoidance leap that could easily be mistaken for a form of interpretive dance.

-If the steam gets too far up your nose, it hits your brain and eventually you start blogging about things you've learned while loading the dishwasher.

-Marmite.